Harry Potter and The Last(?) Sonogram

M just pointed out to me that I neglected to mention yesterday's sonogram, earlier. Sorry about that.

We were hoping that they would be able to give us an idea of when they might induce labor (GD babies tend to get induced a little early), based on their sonogram findings, but no such luck there. What they did tell us is that Baby 2K7 is estimated at about 7.5 pounds right now (give or take a pound - sonograms are not the best tools for determining weight), which is in the 87th percentile for a fetus at this stage. What's a bit alarming is that the abdomen is in the 97th percentile. Baby 2K7 hasn't been the most active baby, so that's probably the reason for the gut. Well, that and the GD. On the plus side, the legs are especially long. We may have ourselves a long jumper or high jumper! I can see it now: Olympic endorsements and a secure retirement for me and the missus!

It's possible that there will be another sonogram before Baby 2K7 enters the world, but that one was probably the last. Either way, we'll be seeing Baby 2K7 again soon!

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I was checking tonight's TV listings on IGN.com, to see if Smallville is a rerun tonight (it is) when I saw a link referring to Harry Potter covers. Being as I hope to see if the cover design to Deathly Hallows has been released yet every time I go to IGN, I went forth without delay and found that the cover design had indeed been released.

I figured that there would be a dominant color in the design, being as Book 5's was mostly blue and Book 6's was mostly green. Wasn't expecting it to be orange, though. I was predicting black or red.

Incidentally, the cover I have showing here might look a little blah, but that's because it doesn't show the back cover, which features Voldemort. You can see the full front-and-back design at the IGN link above.

The Votes Are Strong With This One

The U.S. Postal Service opened up voting today on which Star Wars stamp(s) will be put into circulation later this year. I'm not sure if only one stamp will become official or if the top few vote-getters will make the cut.

As of this morning, C3PO, Darth Maul and the Millennium Falcon are listed as the top vote-getters. This leads me to two conclusions. First conclusion: the top three will be official. Second conclusion: there are far, far too many C3PO fans out there.

Nothing against Threepio, but seriously, of all the characters in the Star Wars saga, lots of people think he's the best representative? He barely did anything outside of comic relief in any of the six movies (granted, he did basically save R2-D2 from the Jawas in Ep.4 and our heroes from the Ewoks in Ep.6, but that's pretty much it, and the Ewok thing was inadvertent anyway), and he was completely useless in the prequels. Jar Jar Binks was a more compelling character than prequel-Threepio, fer cryin' out loud.

Darth Maul is OK, if you consider the prequels to be actual Star Wars movies. Nothing from the prequels is getting my vote. The Millennium Falcon, on the other hand, might get my vote, so I'm cool with that being in the Top 3. I'm sure the USPS would be relieved to hear that.

So far, I've voted for Darth Vader, Yoda, Han and Chewie, and Leia putting the Death Star plans in R2-D2. You're only allowed one vote per day per e-mail address. I have many e-mail addresses. Although, I've only gotten e-mail confirmation on the first vote, so I'm starting to wonder if they can tell when you vote multiple times from the same computer (or same browser). Hmmmm.

Anyway, just remember...

This isn't the stamp you're looking for.

March Showers Bring April Presents

After weeks of preparation, we finally had our baby shower at a friend's house Saturday. It ended up being pretty well-attended, though a few attendees were a bit late, due to the location being on an extremely easy-to-miss street that had the width and appearance of a driveway.

It was nice to visit with everybody. So much so, that I never got around to pulling out my camera and taking pictures. And, of course, we got tons of presents. Most of the stuff was clothes that got passed around the room so everybody could oo and ah over them (one of my friends would later remark that he could see why women like baby showers more than men do.) But my favorite present, and I'm fairly certain that M would not agree with me here, was a book about Marvel Comics and a bunch of animal books that an old high school friend gave my kid and me. He also gave us the collected works of Schoolhouse Rock on videotape. It was pretty kewl. But I liked everything we got.

Interestingly, every guy there was wearing a green shirt/sweater and jeans. My brother and I were dressed almost identically.

Otherwise, there isn't much else to tell that stands out. That's probably a good thing. It was a very well-planned and executed baby shower!

The next day, we went out and bought a bunch of stuff that we didn't get at the shower, tapping out a few gift cards in the process. From a material goods standpoint, we're pretty much ready for Baby 2K7!

Baby 2K7 is currently sitting on M's sciatic nerve (we're pretty sure that's what's going on), so she's in a lot of pain. I'm hoping things ease off very soon! She needs her sleep!

Begin Launch Countdown

I was sitting at my desk, doing my graphic design thing, when M called me. I knew she had an OB appointment this morning, so I figured that she was calling me with the latest Baby 2K7 news. Her cheerful greeting told me that there was nothing bad to report (a constant fear of mine when I get post-OB calls). And then she said...

"I've been dropped"

At least, that's what it sounded like. What did this mean, I asked myself? For some reason, the doctors didn't want to see her anymore so they dropped her? Is there some pre-natal treatment that involves being dropped from a certain height? What's going on?

"I'm at two centimeters"

Centimeters? What do centimeters have to do with getting dropped by your doctor? They dropped her from a height of two centimeters? (OK, that one never actually crossed my mind until I started writing this paragraph.)

And then I realized what she was saying.

"W-waitwait, what's that again?", said I.

The baby has dropped into position. The head is down in the pelvis bone area. Dilation is at two centimeters. I could feel the panic start to creep in. I'm essentially alone in the office today. Who would answer phones?

But the doc told M that she could be at two centimeters for weeks yet. The baby is not coming out anytime soon (probably), especially given the lack of contractions.

Nevertheless, the countdown for Baby Launch 2K7 has, I believe, officially begun.

Baby 2K7 Update - Now With Greater Mobility and Sleep Accomodations

Two more things can be checked off the Baby 2K7 Preparation List: a crib and a stroller!

But before I delve deeper into that scintillating topic, we can also check off doing something about my failing eyesight (by the by, for those of you interested, I spelled "scintillating" right on the first try!)

Actually, you know what. That story isn't all that interesting, other than finding out, while my pupils were nice and dilated and the doc was shining a very bright light through them, that the periphery of my retina is so perfect that it's "textbook". So between that, being dentally boring, and having a kid with a perfect nasal bone, I pretty much have it made in the shade.

Speaking of shades, I had to wear my sunglasses the whole rest of the afternoon, thanks to that whole thing with the pupil dilation. For a while, I even had to wear the disposable Grandma shades they gave me to put under my glasses. Most embarrassing.

So after my adventures in eye dilation, we went to get a stroller and crib. Consumer Reports liked one of the strollers Graco makes, so we looked at that. A lady with her little baby girl happened by and gave the stroller a glowing firsthand review, so we settled on that one.

Next, we got a salesperson to hook us up with the crib we picked out the previous weekend. She gave us the dimensions of the box, we told her that we were going to put it in a Toyota Corrolla, and she told us, basically, that we would need to find another way of getting the crib home.

As luck would have it, my brother got an SUV last fall. I called him up to see if he could come by the store sometime in the next 30 days, the maximum amount of time that they would hold the crib for us, and he said that having an SUV means having no reason to ever turn down such requests. Furthermore, not only could he do it, but we happened to catch him at the precise moment when he could come right away.

So we bought the crib, loaded it in the SUV, and got it home, all in the same day. My brother = teh awe50me.

The actual construction of the crib would have to wait another week. We'll get to that in a bit. I'm doing this chronologically, y'see.

The next day, we had our tour of birth place at the hospital (I believe that's what they call it there - The Birth Place). They walked us through the various stages we would go, up to and including the delivery room and the post-partum room. The delivery room was much nicer than the post-partum room. It was bigger, newer, and had a DVD player, so we can watch Firefly while the baby is being born. The nurse said that the second floor was getting upgraded, so by early April there could be post-partum rooms that are as nice upstairs. (pending 2nd floor upgrade). We'll just have to hope.

Not surprisingly, we didn't get a tour of the NICU (Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit), but we did see some parents come out of there while we were looking at the nursery where babies go right after they're born. They looked sad, but upbeat. I hope to not get to see what the NICU looks like.

After the tour we gathered in a conference room and had the exact same cookies we've had at every single other class. While she was handing out informational stuff out to us and giving us important phone numbers while M was clearly still digging around for a pen (said M, "Omigod, she did not just do that!"), we watched the readouts for every delivery room on the big screen. Lots of rooms had such a screen, where each impending baby's heartbeat and contraction activity can be viewed. So if something is amiss, it's a safe bet someone in the Birth Place will know at a moment's notice and come a-runnin'!

This past weekend, we put together the crib. We had been warned by a seasoned crib-constructing vet (my brother) to make sure that we didn't put anything on backwards. So far as I know, we successfully heeded that warning. But it wasn't exactly easy. The directions not only lacked much in the way of text, but they were also glued to the mattress support board, which made carrying them with us, as we went from one side of the room to the other, pretty much impossible. But we got the job done, and it looks very nice in the baby's room!

And since I delayed this post until after Saturday's 7:30 AM non-stress test (even though I wasn't anywhere near done at the time anyway), here is the update on that. Baby 2K7 was extremely cooperative and got nice and active when activity was called for! It probably helped that M ate breakfast during the test. And because it was so early, before any receptionists had shown up, the nurse gave us a free parking pass, instead of the usual $2 pass. Not that it ultimately mattered, since the parking attendant hadn't shown up yet either.

By the way, I came up with an alternate title for the previous post: "March in Baltimore: Comes In Like A Bipolar Lion, Leaves Like A Confused Lamb"

The Weather Outside Is Frigh... Ah, It's Too Depressing To Continue

This past week saw a rise in the outside temperature with plenty of sunshine. It was delightful. It was refreshing. It was everything I look for in a Spring day.

It was short-lived.

Currently, it's snowing/raining/icing outside. I shudder to think what my drive home tonight is going to be like.

In other news, I have a Baby 2K7 update a-brewin', full of tales of shopping and such, but at this point, I think I'll just hold off until tomorrow's non-stress test, in case there's something noteworthy there, aside from the 7:30 frickin' AM appointment time. That way, I can just put everything together in one tidy little post. Well, maybe "tidy" isn't the best word to describe my posts.

Making Progress In Babyland

We had another non-stress test on Saturday (as we will on all Saturdays until Baby 2K7 is a separate human being), and this time it went much better. M formulated a theory that the baby is more active when people are talking and things are happening, so we made a point to talk during the test, rather than kick back in the comfy chairs and chill. It worked very well. Baby 2K7 was a movin' and jivin' baby, the doctors got a read on the active heartbeat (and were pleased with the results), and a sonogram was averted! Yay Baby 2K7!

Since we had time before M had to go into work to meet with a Baltimore Sun columnist, we went to Target to look at car seats. Now, I'm not sure if any of you heard about the Consumer Reports thing, so allow me to summarize:

A few months ago, Consumer Reports did their own testing of infant car seats, using speeds slightly faster than the government does (38 MPH vs. 35 MPH), and found that all but two do very poorly at the higher speeds. Well, as it turns out, someone screwed up, and the speeds weren't a few MPH higher, they were double. All these seats (except two) were failing at 70 MPH. So Consumer Reports retracted the survey, and the infant seat ratings were pulled from their website.

Luckily, I had printed out the 70 MPH ratings before they got pulled from the site, so I knew that the infant seat we found at Target was one of the two that had actually passed the 70 MPH test. So we got it. Check off car seat from the list of things to get!

We also settled on what crib to buy. It's a bit expensive, but it converts to a toddler bed and to a full bed (up to a certain weight of kid), so it should last a while. And it was the most sturdy of the ones that didn't cost an insane amount, and the sides go down easily, which will be good when Baby 2K7's short momma goes to retrieve baby from or place baby into the crib.

We still have to actually buy it, but at least we know what we're gonna buy now.

We went to another baby class last night. This time it was Birth Basics 101. Not surprisingly, it was like the Preparing For Birth class we took a few weeks ago, only with no breathing exercises and briefer discussions of the details. Still, it was good to reinforce the information.

Big Bag o' Posting Goodness

Man, I really haven't been in much of a writing mood lately. On to the news of the world, beginning with some Baby 2K7 updates.

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The doctor visits have been increasing as we get closer to Baby Launch 2K7. M has been to two non-stress tests, and both times a certain little somebody has been uncooperative. I guess the tests check to make sure there is sufficient movement, but she isn't moving much during the test (other than a bout of hiccups this past Saturday, which the doctor says is a good thing). So both times, they had to send M to the sonogram room to make sure everything is checking out OK, and everything appeared to be fine both times. The first time wasn't a problem, because it was a Saturday and we had nothing better to do, and also because M was going in for a sonogram on Monday anyway, so we just got it out of the way then. But the second time (Wednesday) made M late for work.

Incidentally, Saturday's sonogram eliminated any lingering doubts about the sex of the baby. We got a very good, well defined look at what's going on between the legs!

Here are some pictures (between the legs shot not included). Your guess is as good as mine re: what exactly we're looking at here.




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We've been to a couple more baby classes. This past Sunday we went to Preparing For Birth, or something like that. There we learned all about dilation, breathing, bloody show, contractions, afterbirth, and all sorts of things that pretty much freaked everyone out, especially the moms. There was an audible gasp when the placenta followed the baby in the video we saw.

The Baby Basics class we went to Tuesday night was fairly useless, though we were about 15 minutes late, so maybe there was some useful stuff at the beginning that we missed. It was just a bunch of slides where we could see all the weird stuff that babies have on them and all the weird shapes their heads can have at the beginning, each one followed with "don't worry, it's normal and won't stay that way." We also practiced putting a diaper on a baby doll and swaddling it. I think I did OK on the one run-through we did.

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On the gestational diabetes front: The insulin has been increased, but M continues to shoot up three times a day. The increased insulin doesn't really bother her, so long as it doesn't mean having to inject herself more often than she already has to.

The doctors assure us that she is doing a very good job of keeping the GD under control. My sweetie is indeed awesome!

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I had my birthday dinner at my brother's house the weekend before last (a few days early). M was reluctant to go, due to the temptation of cake and the pizza we would inevitably be ordering. So my brother instead got hot dogs and hamburger meat and voluntarily grilled outside in the cold so M could have a GD-friendly dinner with my family. It seems I'm surrounded by awesome people lately.

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I recently read something that I believe summarizes fatherhood quite nicely, based on my thus far limited experience. It was a guest essay on Theater Hooper, a movie-themed webcomic website (typically, the guests also draw a comic, being as it is, after all, a webcomic site, but not in this case). I've decided to copy and paste the whole thing here. Apologies to Tom Brazelton of Theater Hopper and Jerry Holkins of Penny Arcade if I'm violating any copyrights.

If you'd like to read the essay in its natural habitat, you can find it at http://www.theaterhopper.com/?date=20070214

Tom,

I understand that you've got a baby en route. The expected response to this revelation is usually "leaping joy," but I'm already a father, and I'm exhausted. So if I just move my fingers around a little here on the keyboard, I hope that will suffice.

I have a story that will help introduce some of the powerful new concepts you're about to be submerged in. I guess that technically makes this a parable, but anyway: I was taking the escalator down to the parcade at the Mall.

On the escalator opposite me, going up, an impatient father was tromping up the device and chastizing his young son for being slow. He was not actually watching the son, so that when he exited the top of the moving staircase and his boy began to scream, he was not initially sure why. I was actually paralyzed by it: his son had tripped trying to catch up to his dad, but since he was on the escalator he couldn't just fall down and pick himself up. He was being rolled by the mechanism, falling forever.

The first thing we can derive from this powerful scene is that you need to, you know, actually watch your kid. The challenge you will face later will be to watch them closely while still letting them experience the world. I have a feeling this is going to be my life's greatest challenge.

But also: Falling in place. That is how I would describe the process you are about to undertake. For the first few months, anyway. It's worse than you know. There are almost no handholds of any kind, and worse yet, everybody thinks they have the answer. They don't. Most of this can't be taught. I'm not trying to freak you out, but there it is.

You must invent a new Tom Brazelton, let us call him Dad, and do so under the most strenuous conditions. You need to become a man worthy of emulation. You will need to do this while someone is actively peeing on you. I used to regard human waste as something to be avoided; these days, it's practically a condiment.

This is a situation where your precious movies won't save you, although I guess there are a few valid Escalator Warnings in Mallrats. There is only one film with advice of any enduring worth on the subject of parenting, and the lessons it provides are mercifully clear: the movie is Aliens. If your child is being pursued by a Hive Queen, man, seriously - you need to blow that thing out the Goddamn airlock.

Welcome to the club.

I was already scared. It got a little worse after I read that. Now I'm better. For now.

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I found this video of talking cats a couple of weeks ago. I think it's funny, but M thinks the last cat is way too creepy.

Don Piano, indeed!

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All continues to be well at school. A classmate referred to me as the star pupil a few weeks ago. I humbly shrugged it off, but it was nice to hear.

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After almost 20 years, I finally saw Superman IV. I kinda wish I had waited another 20 years. Or 200.

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I was driving to work yesterday, listening to NPR. They were talking about the proposal to attach a National ID system to driver's licenses or something, and I thought to myself, "My driver's license is up for renewal soon, on my birthday...", and then I remembered that my birthday was last week.

You think I slowed down to the speed limit right there and then? You bet I did.

So today I went to the DMV to renew my license. On the way, I realized that I had forgotten to shave this morning, so I stopped at the supermarket down the street from where I work and got some shaving cream and some cheap disposable razors. And then I parked where nobody could see that I was shaving in my car.

That was pretty much the only problem I had with renewing my license. The people at the driver's license desk were just standing around waiting for someone to visit them, and nobody said a thing about my old license being expired for over a week. And the picture came out fairly well!

So I am now once again a legally licensed driver and can drive as fast and recklessly as I want without worrying about getting busted for having an expired license. Of course, I'd still get in trouble for the whole speeding and reckless driving thing.

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This morning I talked to a friend of mine with whom I had fallen a little bit out of touch, even though he lives in the same town as me. He wanted to know if I could pick up his comics at the comic book shop while he is away. He's in the National Guard, see, and his unit is being deployed. He's pretty sure the destination is Iraq. I'm a bit bummed now. I agreed to pick up his comics for him (he and the store have a payment arrangement set up already, so I don't have to deal with that, don't you worry) on the condition that I can read any of them that strike my interest.

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I think that will do it for now! I'm sure I've forgotten a few details here and there, being as I started the outline for this about a week ago, but you get the general idea.